


Blue Days, Black Nights

by thenonsenseprophet (ProfessionalCouchPotato)



Series: Ahsoka Displaced [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Light Angst, mentions of canon character deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29493822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessionalCouchPotato/pseuds/thenonsenseprophet
Summary: Not an opportunity to change things. Just an opportunity.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Padmé Amidala & Ahsoka Tano
Series: Ahsoka Displaced [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164395
Kudos: 18





	Blue Days, Black Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Here's day two (I'm still alive!)

Ahsoka walks and walks, for long hours and then what feels like days. It is impossible to tell. The stars and the path in front of her stretch onward seemingly indefinitely, and most of the doors she passes remain quietly vacant as she passes. 

It is both surprising and not when a door suddenly spins to life upon her approach. She scans it, hoping for some sign of its destination - of its intentions - but finds frustratingly little. Its surface ripples serenely over the image of an ill-tended public holocall booth. 

Steeling herself, Ahsoka rests a cautious hand on her lightsaber and steps through the door.

The feeling of solid duracrete and the bustle of untold billions of lifeforms rushes upon her at once, and she blinks in confusion even as her hand slips from the handle of her lightsaber. There is a feeling in the Force, in the very  _ air _ around this place, that she has almost forgotten.

Ahsoka sways, and only a lifetime of careful self control keeps her from slumping against the dirty walls of the alley. 

The Jedi. All ten thousand still shine like beacons in the Force, scattered throughout the galaxy as they are. 

… As they must be. Ahsoka’s gaze catches on the remains of an old propaganda poster, grimy and wet, valiantly remaining stuck to the wall of the alley in a way that proclaims its recency like nothing else could. 

_ Support the Boys in White! _ It demands, beneath the proud and uniform buckets of some unnamed clone troopers. Shinies, all of them, because no trooper raised a gun to a battle droid and kept that clean white polish on his armor; no trooper held the cooling body of another brother and emerged without the right to their warpaint. These were the Clone Wars.

And this was Coruscant.

Ahsoka tips her head back, searching for a crack in the duracrete above her head. Buildings crowd together like the canopy of some vicious jungle canopy. No visible daylight filters down to reach her, but she shakes her head and lowers her eyes. That could mean any number of things. It might just be the middle of the night on this side of the city. 

Behind her, the door hums, still open, and she shoots it an apprehensive glance before stepping up to the holocall booth. 

_ Credits remaining: 1 _ , reads the text at the bottom of the flickering projection. Ahsoka’s eyes widen, and she pats the folds and hidden crevices of her armor frantically. But one gift seems to be the extent of the Force’s generosity, because she finds no additional Republic credits.

One credit. One call.

But to who? 

_ Grandmaster Yoda, _ Ahsoka decides, then changes her mind as her fingers seek out the dial pad. 

_ No, Master Kenobi. _

_ Master Koon?  _

_ Master Ti? _

_ Master…  _

_ … Skywalker? _

None of them feel like the right answer. Ahsoka shakes her head, nearly dislodging her headpiece with the ferocity of the movement, but the feeling lingers.

She sets her hand just beside the dial pad and leans nearly all her weight against it as her eyes screw closed and her jaw clenches. 

Feeling every inch the foolish padawan, running scared to her grandmaster, she resolves to dial the number for the Jedi Temple and ask for Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

When the call begins to ring, she finds that she has put in a different comm code entirely.

_ “Hello?” _ The voice on the other end is composed, despite carrying clear signs of its own having just awoken, and so, so achingly familiar that Ahsoka feels her eyes tearing up. Abruptly, she is glad for the busted camera on this particular booth, which protects her from seeing as well as from being seen.

_ “Hello?” _ the voice says again, more alert this time, and certainly more suspicious. 

It’s all Ahsoka can do to keep the grief out of her voice when she says “Hi Padme.”

_ “...Ahsoka? Is that you?”  _

“Yeah, yes, it’s me, I’m- sorry to bother you-” Ahsoka takes a gamble, “-so late at night, I just… I just wanted to…”  _ to hear your voice again.  _

_ “Ahsoka, is everything alright? You’re scaring me, do you need help?”  _ And Ahsoka can imagine the way the corner of her mouth is wrinkling as she frowns. There is a rustling of sheets, and a belated groan that sounds distinctly male, and the blood in Ahsoka’s veins freezes.

“Is that Anakin with you?” she asks, instinctively trying to mask the wild flurry of emotions  _ that _ thought provokes, and almost missing the uncertain sound that Padme makes. 

Because  _ of course it’s Anakin with her.  _ There’s no one else it could be.

“Padme, please, I just want to talk to you,”  _ not him, not now,  _ “don’t wake him up.”

_ “Of course, Ahsoka,” _ and if Padme had sounded worried before, she sounds downright frightened now.  _ “Just give me a moment to get somewhere more private.” _

In the background, there is a sleepy inquiring noise, and Ahsoka barely makes out Padme’s quiet reply of  _ Senate business, I’ll be right back, go back to sleep.  _ Ahsoka tries to put that out of her mind before it can even register. Her teenage self might have done the same thing, but for entirely different reasons. 

_ “Alright, _ ” Padme says at last, to the sound of a door sliding shut.  _ “Now tell me what this is about, Ahsoka.” _

Ahsoka takes a moment to just breathe. She imagines the emotions rolling off her shoulders like water, and when she speaks, she sounds steadier to her own ears.

“I’m sorry, Padme, I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ve just had a lot on my mind, and… I just needed someone to talk to.”

Padme releases what sounds like a sigh of relief.  _ “Oh Ahsoka, you can call me anytime. I’m always happy to hear from you.”  _ She pauses for a moment, and measures her next words with the habitual care of a career politician.  _ “I’m sure Anakin would be overjoyed to hear from you as well.”  _

Ahsoka shakes her head ruefully. Her younger self must have already left the order behind. 

“Maybe in a little while,” she says noncommittally. “How are things going in the Senate?”

Perhaps intuiting Ahsoka’s need for distraction, Padme huffs an irritated breath and begins rattling off the current failings of the most esteemed body of the Senate. Ahsoka closes her eyes and lets the words settle over her.

This is exactly the type of opportunity she had always wished for - a chance to properly say goodbye to the friend she had lost at the same time the galaxy had lost everything else. And what was she doing with this chance? 

_ “Ahsoka,” _ Padme says gently, and Ahsoka suddenly realizes that there had been silence on the line for some time. 

“Yes Padme?” she manages.

_ “If you’re in any kind of trouble, or if you need a place to stay, you’re always welcome to my home on Naboo. I have people who could make your life much easier, and… perhaps we could all be together more often.”  _

And that,  _ that  _ is an enticing offer. For a moment, Ahsoka allows herself to imagine hiding away next to one of Naboo’s beautiful lakes, helping stop the galaxy’s slow plummet to ruin, and  _ being with her family again--  _

Behind her, the door to the in-between thrums ominously, and the holocall projection flashes the five minute warning. Ahsoka folds her arms, just to have something to hold on to. 

Hadn’t she just been talking to Ezra about this? 

“Thank you,” Ahsoka says softly. “I’ll think about it. Maybe… mention it to me again, when I’ve gotten some more sleep.” She is unsure whether her younger self would take Padme up on the offer - it feels like such a long time ago that she was sixteen and adrift in the galaxy, she honestly cannot predict anything about that person anymore - but she should at least have the chance.

Padme laughs, quiet and gentle, and time is running out. 

“Listen,” she says, as the edges of the door tremble like a mirage over hot sand. “I just want you to know. I just want you to know that I love you.” 

_ And that I will always remember you how you were: kind and fierce and loyal and the best sister anyone could have had. No matter what lies the Emperor tries to spread about you. _

_ “I love you too, Ahsoka. I’m glad I got to talk to you again.” _

“Me too,” Ahsoka murmurs. “Goodbye Padme.”

_ “Goodnight Ahsoka. We will see each other again.” _

The call cuts out before Ahsoka can crack and tell her that no, they won’t see each other ever again, the clones will turn on the Jedi and Anakin will fall to the dark side and Sidious will have Padme assassinated while nearly nine months pregnant, and nothing will ever be the same again.

_ Credits remaining: 0, _ says the holocall booth, and Ahsoka takes one last breath of the smoggy Coruscant air before stepping back through the door and into the in-between. She reaches for serenity, or even for the closure she had always imagined she would feel after talking to Padme one last time, but finds neither. Somehow, it feels as if she’s lost everything all over again. 

With nothing else to do, Ahsoka turns from the now empty door and keeps walking.

**Author's Note:**

> Because we really don't have enough on how the dynamic of these two might have played out.


End file.
